What Makes a Happy Relationship? 7 Keys to a Happy Relationship
There comes a stage in each and everyone’s life or
failure in previous relationships that we tend to ask this question: What
makes a happy relationship? We tend to seek answers because we do not
want to find ourselves in another permit me to say “toxic or unhappy relationship”.
The fact that you have not experienced what it means
to be in a healthy and happy relationship does not make the existence of happy
relationships a myth. The world’s longest marriage lasted for 84 years
according to the Guinness Book of World Records.
If those couples can, why not you? I know a real African man would be like “please do not allow the Filipino series or Indian movies; American movies influence you when it comes to love”. They say what we see in movies, is far from reality but that does not mean they do not love right?
They do, perhaps differently. Given the possibility
that one can be happy in a relationship, why is it a difficult task for two people
who truly love each other to succeed in their relationship?
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| What Makes a Happy Relationship? 7 Keys to a Happy Relationship |
Well, love alone can never be enough. There is more to
keeping a relationship talk less of a happy one. Yes, you read that correctly.
Do not get me wrong. Love is important, however, trust, honesty, Understanding,
communication, respect, and loyalty among others are required to make it work.
It does not take a day to build a house likewise
relationships. Time and commitment to always try to work things out no matter
the situation, letting go of your ego, and understanding will help you achieve your
relationship goal.
Relationship is another school that requires endless
learning. Bear in mind that you are two
individuals with different personalities, and interests trying to blend your
visions to have a common goal. What do you expect? A bed of roses? Of course,
there would be misunderstandings and fights but grasping the dynamics of a
relationship is pivotal.
Partners who wish to have a successful relationship
should put in considerable time and effort to achieve success. This write-up
will provide 7 secrets to having a happier and more successful relationship.
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What makes a happy relationship?
As earlier mentioned, it takes more than love to have
a happy and successful relationship.
Every happy relationship comprises various building
blocks, which include trust, respect, honesty, understanding, open
communication, having a common goal, respect for each other independence,
support each other, loyalty, and so on.
Love is not luck. The secret behind those succeeding
is that they consistently work on it. A happy relationship is compared to a
partnership that requires effort from both parties. “A give and take something”
Characteristics of Healthy Relationships
1. Respect for
privacy and space
Having a happy or healthy and successful relationship
does not depend on gluing to your partner. Creating time for privacy is also
good in a relationship. Spending time apart helps you appreciate the quality
time you spend and helps nurture the love you share.
Do not make yourself too available. Girls today you
forget your undies, tomorrow is a bra and before one can realize it, you
already have seven undies and dresses. It is not necessary trust me.
2. Your partner encourages you to spend time with friends
without them and to participate in activities that you enjoy. Anyone telling
you I do not like this person or that person is planning to isolate you. Be
watchful and careful.
3. Freedom of
speech
Dear, can you freely air out how you feel or what you
think? Are you always asked to shut that
mouth of yours because nothing reasonable comes out of it? Alternatively, are
you scared of expressing yourself because you do not know how your partner
would react to it?
Well, a healthy/happy relationship entails comfortably
expressing your opinions and concerns to your partner without getting worried.
4. You feel physically safe and your partner does not
force you to have sex or to do things that make you feel uncomfortable.
5. Are you ignored or blocked after a fight? Well, a
healthy relationship means respecting your partner’s wishes and feelings.
Fighting is okay but how do you manage the relationship in times of conflict? Compromise and negotiate when there are
disagreements or conflicts that is the secret.
# 1. Trust
Trust is the foundation on which all relationships are
built. It is one of the most common relationship buzzwords, but what does trust
mean? Well, trust means freedom from suspicion or doubt, and having confidence
in someone.
Being in a happy relationship means not having to
worry about your partner’s intentions, feelings, or actions when they are not
with you. Trusting your partner entails that you completely have confidence in
them.
Acts of trust include not dictating whom your partner
is permitted to see and when they can, stalking them or always going through
your partner’s phone, etc.
In a happy relationship, you just know, without any
verbal confirmation or discussion, that your partner will always have your
back, always keep your secrets, and always believe you (and that goes vice
versa).
You cannot attain a happy and healthy relationship if
you do not trust and love the person unless you are doing business.
# 2. Respect
The second aspect to consider in attaining a happier
and healthy relationship is to have due regard for the feelings, wishes, or
rights of your partner. Respect in a relationship does not only mean seeing
your partner as an elderly person or keeping quiet when they try telling you
about their true feelings.
Respect means caring about your partner’s wants and
needs and most importantly considering their feelings before speaking and acting. How
do you respond to your partner when mad at him/her?
Some individuals overstep boundaries when addressing
an issue/conflict. Take note that whatever you say during that moment cannot be
withdrawn. Your partner might forgive but would not easily erase it from their
mind.
It is said that one should always be ready to forgive
and forget. However, most people tend to forgive but do not forget. So, know
your partner. Does your partner belong to the crew that forgives but does not
forget? Or they find it hard to forgive but when they finally forgive, they let
go of it.
To have a happier and more successful relationship,
partners have to consider each other feelings, respect boundaries no matter the
conflict at hand, accept their weaknesses, appreciate and support their
partner, feeling safe to express themselves without being scared of retaliation.
To cut the long story short respect in a relationship
means being able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation, or
insisting on being right. Partners have different ways of talking whether
raising voices or quietly, and endeavor not to overstep boundaries.
Treat others the way you would love them to treat you.
# 3. Communication
Communication is the premier pillar to achieving a
happier and more successful relationship. You would bear me witness that
misunderstandings in relationships are due to a lack of communication. Not just communication but healthy and
productive communication.
Be open and honest when discussing. Without communication,
how do you want your voice to be heard, how do you expect your partner to know
how you feel, how you wanted to be treated, and so on?
Truth be told, when both partners know what they want
from the relationship, they feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and
desires, this can increase trust and strengthen the bond between you.
Communication does not mean yelling at each other. Your
partner should not be talking and you are doing the same. Who listens to whom? Below
are tips for healthy communication to have a happy relationship.
- When speaking be open and honest about your true feelings. If you do not understand anything explained to you, politely let your partner know.
- How good are you at listening or paying attention to someone when they are pouring out their heart to you? The worst thing you could ever do is to concentrate on yourself when someone is talking to you. “It is considered as an act of disrespect”.
Pay attention without distractions when the other
person is talking. Listen to them rather than thinking of a response, give them
the chance to finish talking (say no to interruption), and think before
talking.
- Some people can tell when someone is not fully paying attention to him or her. Be empathetic as it will assure your partner to know that you are there for them and understand what they are communicating. Make eye contact; face them; give your full attention and lean in as they are speaking.
- Technology has made it easy for people to keep in touch but bear in mind that not all relationship quarrels can be settled over text. If you should do it over text, please keep calm and do not leave your partner hanging. Situations that require your presence do it.
- Know when to have a conversation. Always try to talk things through when calm. Do not let days go without addressing any conflict. Even if you are still mad, keep your line of communication open. Do not ignore or snoop on your partner.
# 4. Honesty
Lies do not only kill trust but the relationship as
well. Just a lie can make your partner lose trust in you. I guess you know the
implication of that. No matter how the situation might be, open up to them.
Have you heard of the proverb that “a
lie has no legs?” it means you cannot get away with a lie; the truth will
always come out. Honesty is the bedrock of intimacy. To feel deeply
connected with someone you cannot withhold information or tell lies.
Humans are imperfect creatures liable to commit
mistakes. When you do, create time to tell your partner before they become
suspicious. Maybe your partner will not like what you did, but hushing up or
covering up the mistake is the wrong option.
Bear in mind that anything relationship based on lies
does not work well and might eventually crash. Avoid breaching the trust your
partner has for you. If they suspect anything and demand an explanation, tell
the truth. A word for the wise is sufficient.
# 5. Pick your battles
Argue and argue and argue but do not lose respect for
your partner. Who says fighting is unhealthy in a relationship? Conflict can be
a part of a healthy, committed relationship. However, it is also important to
accept that some battles cannot be won.
Disagree to agree. When couples compromise, each
person comes to the table, considers the other’s feelings, and agrees on a
decision together. It is not one person giving in to the other’s will.
“There’s a little give on both sides. It has to be
both partners,” she says. “If it’s one-sided and one person is always giving in
to make the other person happy or not rock the boat, that’s unhealthy.”
To work through the challenges of relationships involves a willingness to argue (with mutual respect) and a willingness to resolve differences.
It takes courage and decency to make a genuine apology
and admit when we are wrong. The importance of dealing with hurt feelings is
often underestimated in the repair needed after arguments.
“I can see I hurt your feelings” goes a long way in
the process of repair. In turn, repair also involves a willingness to forgive
and let go of hurt feelings.
Pick the fights but learn how to handle these issues. Therefore,
try to solve conflicts amicably while maintaining mutual respect for one
another. Poor conflict resolution skills
can cause endless arguments and emotional distress.
Always stay close to each other so that you learn and
grow through any of your differences. Do not allow external factors and
difficult times to tear you apart. If you cannot seem to achieve an understanding,
seek professional advice.
# 6. Appreciate
each other’s differences
Rather than focusing on trying to change your partner
why not try accepting them for whom they are while working to improve?
Note that you cannot change someone; change begins
with that person but that would not stop you from pouring out your mind to
them. The only person you can change is yourself.
Effectively communicating with your partner is what
might help them make a conscious decision to change on their own.
What makes a happy relationship is when each partner
desire to change for himself or herself first while considering their partner
as well. Simply trying to fit what someone else wishes you to be, is not
healthy trust me.
# 7. Gratitude and
No judgment
Lastly but most importantly achieving a happier and more
successful relationship is to be appreciative of the little and big things your
partner does for you.
Relationship experts think that the key to a long and
happy relationship is being grateful and showing gratitude to your partner. Every
little moment they do something to remind you why you fell in love, should make
you feel grateful to have them.
The truth is when you show appreciation; there are
more chances to encourage the person to do more. Rather than complaining about
not loving what he or she got, a thank you would be preferable.
Do not be judgmental. Love people for who they are.
Note that before meeting you, they must have had experiences that shape the
present who they are.
A good partner accepts everything that is you and brings
out the best in you. In the words of a relationship expert, Carrie Bradshaw, “if
you can find someone to love the you that you love, well, that’s just
fabulous.”
Final thoughts on what makes a relationship happy
The above-mentioned points are the key pillars to
attaining happier and more successful relationships.
Genuinely loving each other, trust, respect, healthy
communication, same or common goal, honesty, appreciating each other’s
differences, showing gratitude, and being non-judgmental are the secret to
happier relationships.
Love is not everything, for it takes more than love for
two people to accept each other flaws and commit to improving each other.
Bonus: women love men who have a sense of humor.
Someone who can make you laugh and play with you. Someone who can put you in
high spirits no matter the challenges you encounter in your everyday life
likewise men.
For crying aloud, it is a relationship, which is meant
to add more value to your life and not a military camp or business meeting that
requires a degree of seriousness.
Going through this write-up and realizing you do not fit
anywhere in terms of your relationship, it is time to start reconsidering
things or try to follow the tips to improve what you are currently
experiencing.
Good luck and believe you can do it. Have fun. Thanks for your time and feel free to drop your opinions.
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